Love~Doesn't Exsist

OK, I am very sorry for the people that actually read my blog because I have not been posting lately. This blog isn't about not loving God or anything like that, but loving another person as a boyfriend or husband, to me, just doesn't exist.
Well, to get to the point faster, there is this guy and he just keeps playing mind games and I'm so sick of it. One day he says he loves me and then the next we just go back to being best friends. We are absolutely really good friends and we know everything, I mean everything about each other. But for some reason he just keeps switching emotions and it is really starting to piss me off. One day we will sit in class and be cracking up and laughing and having a good time, and then the other days he is all serious and won't barely even look at me. Maybe this is like some boy hormone thing but for some reason this just seems wrong!
Now I swear to everyone that talks to me that I don't like anybody, but the truth is I just don't want to like anyone cause I don't want my heart played with or broken. This whole bipolar thing has been going on for two years and I just can't let him go, I'm not obsessed or anything but I am just so tired of worrying whether tomorrow he will even talk to me, or if he will just completely ignore me.
"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get"~now that I have opened my chocolates I have decided that I don't want to get fat from eating them, but the just look so delicious......