Girls~Drama

I don't get why girls have to make everything so dramatic, I mean boys just walk up to you and tell you exactly how it is, but girls will ignore you our give you dirty looks and make you feel bad for stuff that you didn't even do. Every girl that I have ever met has always had some kind of drama with another girl, I mean girls are just so totally mean.
Men use their strenght to hurt other people, but women use their brains and expressions to hurt people. A man can use his fist and punch you in the face, and yes it will hurt, but a women can manipulate, back stab, and scowl to make you hurt and that kind of hurt will never leave you. Now every person on this planet has heard the phrase that sticks and bones might break your bones but words will never hurt you. I am telling you straight up that this ia a lie. This might not be for all girls but when you get hurt you atamatically retaleat,right? So lets say that a special person in my life hurt me, naturally I would like revenge on that person now. But revenge is a heavy thing to carry with me everywhere I go. I have noticed that when you carry revenge in your heart that it effects the way that you treat and talk to others. I have been treating people badly and unfairly this week and I have discovered that it was because I am a girl and Drama just happens to find me. So I apologize if I have treated you badly this week, I was just going through another girl/drama stage in my life! All of my unkindness that I have shown this week all started with girls~drama and is now ending so that everyone around me can enjoy being with me instead of dreading it!

Balance

I watch everybody everyday go about their lives at ease, but when I look in the mirror and see my own life, everything looks hectic and crazy. Alot of people say that their eighth grade year was one of the best years of their lives. I don't get how this year is going to be one of the best years of my life, I mean I have so much work to do in between everything else like chores, that at the moment I don't really have a life to live. All of the homework that I get in one day is insane, History,English, and Science are so much to handle but math is the craziest class that I have ever taken. This year I tested into Honors algebra and on the first day the teacher said that we have 100 problems to do. I mean I was used to work but I was not used to overnighters. Last Friday we had our first test and I got a B. Normally I would not think that this is a bad grade but now my grade for the class is a B. When my parents find out I am going to be killed. Math homework is crazy, we have alot of problems and the teacher only take 5 minutes to teach the lesson. I absolutely love math, and I am good at it to, but this class is an overload. I spend 3 hours a night just doing my math homework and it is making me stress out. This year I need to get all A's just like all of my years in the past but this math class is making me so stressed and doubtful. I need to find a balance between homework, friends,church, and my family. At the moment Math is basically taking over my whole like and it is stressing me out because I am working so hard so that I can get my A. For this whole week I need to distance myself from my friends because I have a huge test this Thursday and I need to study extra hard because it will bring up my grades tremendously. My official new best friend is my Math Book :)

Hypocrite

About 4 months ago my uncle taught me a lesson that did not really stick in my head, this lesson was about hypercritical people. He told me and my sister that we are hypocrites, and once I thought about that, he was right. I acted differently at school then I did at home and I definitely acted differently at church. So I thought to myself, what is so bad about being a hypocrite. I mean being a hypocrite just meant that you act a certain way with certain people,it means that you have multiple personalities. This week I finally comprehended the object of the lesson that he was trying to teach, okay that was a lie. I still can't comprehend how being a hypocrite is a bad thing, but in some form I think that being a hypocrite is not exactly what God intended you to be. Last night was when I actually started worrying, I decided that I wasn't going to be a hypocrite anymore and that I was going to just be me. When suddenly a scary thought came into my head, I don't know my own true personality. I have been living a lie for so long that I forgot the truth. I haven't been my weird wacky self since I started Junior High, because in Junior High you have to have a certain image. So, if I don't know what my own personality is, then how can I only be my personality and not keep changing it with different people. At this time in my life I am very uncertain of what to do next. I keep thinking, what was my personality before all of the bad stuff changed me, I am trying so hard to remember that it gives me a headache. So now for the moment I am in a dead end, until suddenly I retrace my steps and God sets me free.

What a Life :)

Last night while I was lying in bed I thought to myself, how much time of my life do I stop and enjoy it. I thought about this for a long while last night and repeated over and over in my head my schedule for the week; First I go to school, and remember that is seven periods to sit through. Then I come home,and every night I spend at the very least, doing three hours of homework. After that I take a shower and go to bed. Now how much of that time do I spend praiseing God, or praying. In my head I concluded that I only spend 2 hours a week praiseing and learning about God. The only reason that I learn and praise for two hours is because I go to church. If I cant even get as much time as I want in for God, then how am I supposed to enjoy my life if my life is going by so quikly. Every single adult that I know has said to me enjoy being a kid while you can, or don't grow up to fast. I dont know how to stop growing up so fast everyday,every hour,every week, and every month goes by with great spead. I dont know how to make time stand still for just one moment, thats what I would wish for if I had one wish. I would wish for time to just stand still, even if only for a moment. Everyday of my life I want to stop and pray or stop and have fun, instead all that I am ever doing now, is work and trying to look good so that everyone at my school will like me. For the past week this has been weighing heavy on my heart and I would like everyone who reads this to know that you dont need to have time stand still, all that you need to do is enjoy life as it is going fast.