No Light

Being a Christain is hard................I am trying to do everything right, but I'm sorry I can't do it. I guess that I am just not cut out to be a christian, it is hard cause I have already said so many bad things today that I just don't even get the point to keep trying. I guess that it's easier for everyone else, I must be different. I would probably do better if there was like a light in a person that could lead the way for me, but everyone at my school is not christian and not the best people in the world. Everything and everyone around me is falling apart and it's trying to bring me down and it eventually will, so if I know that I can't succeed then why keep trying. I don't get it, how can everyone at church go to school be cool and still be a Christain, at my school I just can't cut it when I'm goody good all of the time. I don't want to end up loosing all of my friends, but it is just a hard decision to make. I don't want to make this decision, I need advice and I have no one to go to, I think that I should just stick to the way I am used to things, cause change is definitely not my friend.